What Really Helps People Connect Personally?
You’ve probably heard (or said) some version of it:
“We want visitors to make personal connections.”
Great goal. But let’s be honest—people don’t connect just because we tell them to. It doesn’t happen just because we drop a dramatic stat or share a jaw-dropping fact. And while I love a good thought provoking question, dropping one in at the end of the talk or tour isn’t usually enough on its own. You might want me to think, but I don’t hafta.
So what works?
People connect when something we say bumps up against something they already care about. When we invite them to bring their story into the space alongside ours.
For that to happen, we have to do more than inform. We have to make room.
When designing a program to spark that elusive personal connection, here’s three things that help your listeners get there:
Seeing themselves reflected in what we’re saying
Feeling invited, not tested no ‘guess what’s in my head’ or ‘stump the guest’
Having space to bring their own meaning to the experience
That’s true whether you’re talking about an 18th-century bread oven, a Civil Rights protest, or a 200-year-old tree. The connection happens when a visitor doesn’t just learn something new—they see themselves in a new light because of it.
And a bonus - especially in this world full of shouting and noise - interpretation that sparks connection isn’t usually louder or flashier. It’s quieter. More open. More curious. It’s about the relationship between you, your subject, and your audience.
It’s not about giving visitors the “right” answers. It’s about helping them discover what feels right to them—based on their own values, experiences, and questions.
A new tool I’ve run across recently is the ‘because you might’ strategy.
It’s a tiny phrase that acts like a big bridge.
It suggests relevance by inviting curiosity.
It moves out of facts and into experience.
Here’s how it works:
Instead of:
“This cabin was built in 1856 by a local farming family.”
Try:
“Because you might know what it feels like to hold onto something that’s falling apart, this cabin has a story you might connect with—about survival, sacrifice, and letting go.”
Or instead of:
“This tree is over 400 years old and has witnessed many events.”
Try:
“Because you might have stood under a tree like this—maybe to find shade, to grieve, or to gather—this one might feel familiar, even if its story is very different from yours.”
What you’re doing is naming a universal emotional experience—a decision, a longing, a loss, a joy—and using it as a lens for your audience to view your content through.
You’re not just interpreting a thing. You’re interpreting why someone might care.
Building the Practice of Invitation
You can start building connection into your programs by asking:
What universal human experience is present in this story?
(Fear? Hope? Responsibility? Belonging?)Where do I need to pause so the visitor can bring their own meaning? (Literally pause. Stop talking. Let people think, remember, reflect.)
Is there a self-referencing question I can ask? (self-referencing questions include you/your/yours or us/we/ours)
Have I kept any ‘you’ language invitational, not bossy?
(“You might...” instead of “You should...”)
You can also encourage your team to workshop “because you might…” phrases as a group. Try writing a few together for a single object, exhibit, or stop on a tour. The variety of directions people take is often where the gold is—and where you start noticing what really resonates.
Connection Is a Two-Way Street
When we stop trying to be impressive and start trying to be invitational, we unlock something powerful: Visitors stop being passive recipients and start being meaning-makers. And that’s where connection happens.
If you want more strategies for creating programs that stick with your audience long after they leave the site, check out a Skill Clinic like Memory Magic, or Impact Storytelling—one of our most requested trainings for interpreters and educators looking to deepen connection and increase engagement.
Or book a discovery call with me. I’d love to hear what you’re working on—and help you design programs that don’t just inform, but truly land.
— Kristin
Stay Naked! (You know... curious, open, brave.)